She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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