You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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