I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
