I wish life had little blips of pornography
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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