I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
