Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
