I think i sorta joined a cult last night
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
