I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
