Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
