Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
