Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
