The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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