youre lurking in front of me
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
