Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
