I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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