So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
