Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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