We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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