She's JV to your varsity
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
