I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
