is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
