We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
