Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
found the other keg... it's in the tree
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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