she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
