5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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