i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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