so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
