Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
