what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
