i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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