at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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