Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
