seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
