it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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