I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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