don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
