They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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