I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
