you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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