If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
