drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
