i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
