people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
