K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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