my soul wont recognize me after tonight
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
