i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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