Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
