see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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