WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
