Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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