mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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