Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize