too bad you live with your parents still
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
